Want to know more about the real me? Keep reading. Happy with what you already know about me & the picture you have in your head about what I am like. Well maybe you should skip this entry and read the rest of my blog:)

I wish I was better at decision making. Often when I am faced with a tough decision I go into freeze mode. There really is no good way to describe it other than I just try to not decide and let life float on by. This doesn’t work too well though for obvious reasons. Life doesn’t just float on by and sometimes other people rely on you to make the decision. I really just wish every decision was incredibley simple (although I even have a tough time with the simple ones, like what to eat for dinner). If only every decision was as simple as the one when I decided to marry Ben. I loved him (and still do) and just knew that I wanted (and still want) to be with him forever. Amazingly enough he puts up with my indecision (which occurs frequently) better than I do!

In some ways I do not understand my need to not make decisions. It is like I am scared that I will mess things up or make everyone else unhappy if I make the wrong decision. Like going out to lunch with a bunch of people, I never really want to be the one to decide because what if no one else likes what I pick. The silly thing is that I can actually be pretty picky about what I eat, so really it often makes more sense for me to just say what I want rather than make everyone else guess. The thing about decisions is that you have to know when it is best to make one and what the best outcome you can forsee will be.

Right now in life, I have a slightly big decision. I just graduated a week ago (although I am finishing up my classes still) and I am seriously considering returning to school this fall for my vet tech degree. I thought that I had completely committed to it, but a couple of comments from people in my life have made me think more about it. It will be a lot of hard work and two more years of school (which while I may be smart, I am not always very dedicated when it comes to school). At the same time, I really want to work with animals. I love being around animals, getting to enjoy how less complex they are than us humans and how incredibely more complex than us they can also be (I know that doesn’t make sense really, but to me it does). In fact I want to work with animals so much that I can’t imagine doing something else as work. At the same time though, another two years of school seems like a lot and I am going to miss some of the hands on working with animals that I am going to have to give up to go to school so that I can return to doing that again. The thing about becoming a vet tech though is that it seems like there will probably be more opportunities than just skipping school and remaining a vet assistant…. So like I said, I am feeling slightly unsure about what I am doing right now with life and I want to make sure that I do what is best in the long run for me.

Honestly, I wrote more than I thought I was going to about this and I probably haven’t even expressed myself that well but it helps to get this all out. So if you read this whole thing, thanks for reading it and knowing that everyone has their own areas of life that aren’t always perfect. I know sometimes it just helps to know that other people feel the same way, and even if no one reading this has a hard time making decisions maybe you have something else that you find difficult to do and it just helps to know that someone else kind of understands.

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