I know that there is a lot going on in the world and that the death of one cat in a shelter seems rather small compared to a lot of things, but it has still touched my world in a large way.

At work there was a cat that I had grown fairly attached to, I knew that I could not bring him home but I wanted to see him end up with a loving family. He was a very special cat, who had been rescued from a barn as a kitten and was not use to people. At first he would hide in the back of his cage and hiss when people would reach in and pet him. Slowly over time though he got more use to people and grew to love being petted. He would absolutely just melt into your hand when you put it anywhere near him. Near the end of his life he was actually sitting at the front of his cage and not just hiding in the far back, he also loved being near other cats and cuddling up to this big grey cat named Greysen who became his buddy.

This special kitties name was Celeiro and he was a small male brown tabby. He was a little cat even for being about 6 months old. He always knew that I would stop and talk and give him a little pet when I passed by his cage and after awhile he would come up to the front when he saw me in the room. Unfortunately about a week ago he started getting sick and had to be put on treatment. On friday when I went to see him and give him his meds, he was not doing so well. Today I just received a phone call from one of my co-workers who knew how much I cared about Celeiro. She and I both were not at work yesterday but she was there today and had found out that Celeiro had to be put down yesterday. It was hard to hear, but at the same time I know that it is better for him and he is in a better place.

There is a part of me that thinks sometimes a job like this is too hard. It is hard to see people not care about their pets, it is hard to see animals get sick, it is hard to see animals that just are not going to make it, and it is hard to let go even when it is absolutely necessary. Yet at the same time it makes me want to fight even harder for all these little creatures sakes. I know that there is a lot going on in the world, but come on! If we can’t even care for a little cat, dog, or other creatures how can we care for other humans. A lot of people would insist that humans should come first and I agree, but I don’t understand why so many people seem to think that we can’t work on both problems at the exact same time! Way too many people in this world do not appreciate the little things in life, and until they appreciate the little things life is just not going to have real meaning.

I suppose I wouldn’t work at a humane society if I didn’t feel this way, but I don’t think I would live my life at all like how I do either if I didn’t feel like this. There is just way too much to appreciate in life! Take time to look around and see each blade of grass under your feet, the squirrels that may eat all the bird feed but are still amazing creatures, the birds in the sky, the cats and dogs that love us for who we really are, and the people that you care about in life. Then take the time to do something about all of it! Don’t just take it for granted, get involved! Go plant some flowers to brighten your neighborhood, put out more bird feed so the squirrels can enjoy it too, volunteer at a humane society (they will love you for it!) or if you don’t have the time give something else (lots of shelters have wish lists with even small things like a bag of cotton balls, who can’t chip in with something like that when we are RICH AMERICANS), and then don’t forget to let those you love know how much you care by showing them! Life will be better for it, believe me. Then maybe Celeiro’s short life will not have been wasted… It definitely was not wasted on me.

Want to know more about the real me? Keep reading. Happy with what you already know about me & the picture you have in your head about what I am like. Well maybe you should skip this entry and read the rest of my blog:)

I wish I was better at decision making. Often when I am faced with a tough decision I go into freeze mode. There really is no good way to describe it other than I just try to not decide and let life float on by. This doesn’t work too well though for obvious reasons. Life doesn’t just float on by and sometimes other people rely on you to make the decision. I really just wish every decision was incredibley simple (although I even have a tough time with the simple ones, like what to eat for dinner). If only every decision was as simple as the one when I decided to marry Ben. I loved him (and still do) and just knew that I wanted (and still want) to be with him forever. Amazingly enough he puts up with my indecision (which occurs frequently) better than I do!

In some ways I do not understand my need to not make decisions. It is like I am scared that I will mess things up or make everyone else unhappy if I make the wrong decision. Like going out to lunch with a bunch of people, I never really want to be the one to decide because what if no one else likes what I pick. The silly thing is that I can actually be pretty picky about what I eat, so really it often makes more sense for me to just say what I want rather than make everyone else guess. The thing about decisions is that you have to know when it is best to make one and what the best outcome you can forsee will be.

Right now in life, I have a slightly big decision. I just graduated a week ago (although I am finishing up my classes still) and I am seriously considering returning to school this fall for my vet tech degree. I thought that I had completely committed to it, but a couple of comments from people in my life have made me think more about it. It will be a lot of hard work and two more years of school (which while I may be smart, I am not always very dedicated when it comes to school). At the same time, I really want to work with animals. I love being around animals, getting to enjoy how less complex they are than us humans and how incredibely more complex than us they can also be (I know that doesn’t make sense really, but to me it does). In fact I want to work with animals so much that I can’t imagine doing something else as work. At the same time though, another two years of school seems like a lot and I am going to miss some of the hands on working with animals that I am going to have to give up to go to school so that I can return to doing that again. The thing about becoming a vet tech though is that it seems like there will probably be more opportunities than just skipping school and remaining a vet assistant…. So like I said, I am feeling slightly unsure about what I am doing right now with life and I want to make sure that I do what is best in the long run for me.

Honestly, I wrote more than I thought I was going to about this and I probably haven’t even expressed myself that well but it helps to get this all out. So if you read this whole thing, thanks for reading it and knowing that everyone has their own areas of life that aren’t always perfect. I know sometimes it just helps to know that other people feel the same way, and even if no one reading this has a hard time making decisions maybe you have something else that you find difficult to do and it just helps to know that someone else kind of understands.

This is my 50th post on my blog, pretty cool!

Last night, Ben helped me sort through the masses of clothing in my closet & get rid of a bunch of stuff. Of course, I haven’t actually gotten rid of it yet, since I figured I would check with my mom & sister to make sure they didn’t want any of it. Still it is a pretty good feeling, and now I can go clothes shopping! :)

I really want to post some new pictures soon, but life has been fairly busy. Hopefully soon I will get around to it. I have some pretty cute ones of Pounce & Axel, even a couple of Pounce crawling into the purse/bag that my mother-in-law gave me for a graduation present.

Ben & I are doing some spring cleaning (as you can tell from the closet cleaning) and summer decorating. I want to add some more summery colors and brighten up the apartment a little. Anyone have good suggestions where to find a summery/light colored blanket/quilt/bedspread that isn’t outrageously priced but still looks cool? It always seems like when you are not looking for stuff to decorate with, there is too much cool stuff but when you want something…. well nothing.

Summer is definitely starting! I just hope it doesn’t fly by too quickly!

I saw kittens being born today. It was completely unexpected, no one even knowing for a fact that the mom cat was pregnant.

On Saturday, I attended my college graduation and I didn’t even trip when it came time for me to walk across and get my diploma. Actually they mail the diploma later on, at graduation they just give you an empty diploma cover. Thanks again to my family & Ben’s for coming to see me graduate!

L.A.M.B. clothing finally has its new collection posted on its website. Not that anyone who is reading this (besides Sari & I) is probably interested, especially seeing as most the prices are outrageous.

I did call my mom on Mother’s day, even if she didn’t get the voicemail until today.

Oh, Pounce and Axel are adorable as always. (In case anyone was wondering!)

Pounce and Axel remind me of when Sari and I were little kids. When Sari and I were little, my mom called us her twins born two years apart. One area that we definitely were different in though, was how much trouble each of us could get into before getting caught. I think an example my mom would use is that of the yardstick that was kept between the refrigerator and the counter (why my parents kept a yardstick there I have no clue!). If I wanted the yardstick out to play with it, I would only try for a minute or two before getting frustrated and making a bunch of noise. Sari on the other hand could sit for hours quietly trying to get the yardstick out without anyone knowing what she was up to (well probably not hours since mom would have checked on her, but you get what I am saying). Sari must have had more patience or a better attention span or maybe she was just more mischievous :)

So how do Pounce and Axel remind me of this? Well, they are almost the same way. It is just obvious when Pounce is doing something he knows he isn’t supposed to do. He checks to see if you are watching him sneak food of your plate, or sharpen his claws on the back of the couch, or tease his little brother Axel. You just know if Pounce is getting into trouble. Axel on the other hand just goes about whatever he is doing completely oblivious to the fact that he probably shouldn’t be doing it. He knows that he isn’t really supposed to sharpen his claws on the furniture, but if no one is looking what is the harm right:) He is also pretty good at sneaking up behind his older brother Pounce and getting a reaction out of him. Hmm, that sounds like another younger sibling I know (just kidding!). It is pretty fun to see the differences between Pounce and Axel! They may be our twin kittens born two months apart, but they definitely have their own very distinct personalities.

I wish I had something clever to say, but I don’t…. Pounce and Axel are adorable as always. Life is busy and Ben is perfecting his cooking skills by making banana pops. Actually, his cooking skills are pretty good already (he is the cook in our family). Oh and he seriously is making bananapops.

And I am definitely ignoring the countdown to graduation. It makes me feel better to not think about it.

Oh and one more thing. Dad are you sure you don’t want a cat for your birthday? He is really, really adorable! (No I am not trying to get rid of one of my kitties, there is an adorable kitty at the shelter that I want someone I know to adopt.)